This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
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I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
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He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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