Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
