if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Randomize