see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
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The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize