why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
