Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize