she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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