i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
