I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
