Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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