I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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