remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
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New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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