My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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