So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I intend to get homeless drunk
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
