she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
