Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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