I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
