Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
two words: eviction party
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
