I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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