I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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