Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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