Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
