Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
tell me about the eggs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
