once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize