You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
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Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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