hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
