what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
