watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
