Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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