He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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