Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
