dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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