i used baking grease as lip gloss
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
