our cab driver is having phone sex.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
