he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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