just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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