we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
