Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
