god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
