I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
my poor anus
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
