Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
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He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
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Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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