I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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