Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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