You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
