How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
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A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
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Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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