Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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