Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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