If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
