I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
did i walk over a car last night?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
