I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
