I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
