ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
