If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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