you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
