You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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