he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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