For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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