seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
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