I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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