tell your sister to shave her snatch
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
