FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
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If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You did what with his pubic hair?
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