i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
