If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
