we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
don't judge my taste in strippers
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
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